Friday, May 30, 2014

Is it hormones, or do I just suck?

How do you know what you're good at? Or what you could be good at? I mean, I know for sure I'm a decent singer, and that I can walk 5 dogs at once. And I'm pretty good in bed. Alas, I will not be taking part in the world's oldest profession, so that's out. 

This whole week I've made several stupid mistakes in terms of my job. It's not a hard job. It's downright boring at times. My coworkers go out of their way to make sure I don't do anything too difficult. I'm basically paid to act like a functioning adult on my boss' behalf. 

I also want to cry all the time. So, it might also be hormones. Like, a homeless person just came on the train and now I feel really bad for her even though she is obviously crazier than a bag of chocolate covered xanies and has commandeered 4 seats with her stuff. But she doesn't smell that bad, and she has some dried flowers in a cup in her shopping cart. 
And now I'm tearing up. 

Excuse me. 


Thursday, May 29, 2014

How did I get coffee in my eyebrows?

Sometimes, bodily functions have really bad timing. Like all those times I fart myself awake while sleeping next to my boyfriend. Or this morning, when I sneezed into my coffee.

But go me, because I didn't get any on my boyfriend's nice couch. But I did get it all over me. Ah well.

I have a unique history of spilling things on me at the most inopportune moments. One time in college, I was hardcore (aka last minute) studying for a Biology final, and my method of studying was to basically rewrite the text book by hand. It sort of worked, since I did get a B+ in that class as the only non-science major. So anyway, I'm studying and it's almost 1 a.m and I'm tired. I need caffeine. Unfortunately, every place on campus that sells coffee is closed (during finals week, REALLY Adelphi?!?) and the only thing at my disposal is green tea that has been very kindly offered by my friend Kate.

So I make the tea. My friend Mike who is helping me study pours it into the cup. I go to pick UP the cup...

and my hand cramps so badly it collapses and I spill boiling hot tea all over my hand.

Needless to say, my writing abilities were severely hindered for the rest of the night. I did the ole hispanic remedy of toothpaste on a first degree burn, so luckily I could write in time for the final. Actually, come to think of it, we hispanics use toothpaste for a lot of things.

Well, at least we smell fresh.

-Grace #adulting

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

In Honor Of Maya Angelou

World class woman. Icon. Fierce bitch. Prolific.


These don't even come close to encapsulating what Maya Angelou was.

She is also the prime example that sometimes you don't truly start your true career path until later in life, she not truly dedicating herself to her writing and human rights work until she was about 30.

 She also worked as a stripper. I worked as the door girl to a strip club once, so...we have that in common. She was someone that showed me it was OK to be a sexual being and that it didn't mean you had so self worth.

So thanks Maya Angelou. You give me hope that all my #adulting will lead somewhere.

-Grace

How do I adult?

First, Laurel totally made up this term. Full credit goes to her, I'm just piggybacking.

I'm Grace, 24 year old woman-child trying to figure out how the fuck do I adult in NYC. Just struggling under the burden of this quarter life crisis and trying to pretend I have applicable life skills.

What is adulting? Adulting is celebrating the most basic level of human functionality that slightly separates you from a toddler. But sometimes, when I'm drunk, there really is no difference.

Like, when I had cereal and greek yogurt for breakfast BEFORE having the Reese's PB cups.

Or when I realized I could vacuum my windows instead of cleaning them by hand. And my A/C.

Or that time I got an acting degree and now 3 years later I'm playing a skanky fairy and working in an office.

#Adulting, one bullshit day-job at a time.
First, Laurel totally made up this term. Full credit goes to her, I'm just piggybacking.

I'm Grace, 24 year old woman-child trying to figure out how the fuck do I adult in NYC.

What is adulting? Adulting is celebrating the most basic level of human functionality that slightly separates you from a toddler.

Like, when I had cereal and greek yogurt for breakfast BEFORE having the Reese's PB cups.

Or when I realized i could vacuum my windows instead of cleaning them by hand. And my A/C.

Or that time I got an acting degree and now 3 years later I'm playing a skanky fairy and working in an office.

#Adulting, one bullshit day-job at a time.